AP suggested this during a conversation. I rejected the outrageous suggestion. How could it possibly be? I want nothing more in life than to be happy. I even have a blog about finding happiness. The thought perturbed me. I needed to get to the bottom of this. Could this be true? Do I really not want to be happy?
That's when I stumbled upon Sonja Lyubomirsky and her insightful research which helped me understand my precarious situation. She is an authority on happiness research and has a 5-year $1million grant from the National Institute of Mental Health, USA to conduct research on the possibility of permanently increasing happiness. According to her research, happiness springs from 3 sources. She explains it so well that I'm quoting her verbatim for the explanations.
- Genetic set point
50% of the happiness is resultant of our genetic set point (set point means your base level of happiness). Lyubomirsky says:" The set point for happiness is similar to the set point for weight. Some people are blessed with skinny dispositions. Even when they're not trying, they easily maintain their weight. By contrast, others have to work extraordinarily hard to keep their weight at a desirable level, and the moment they slack off even a bit, the pounds creep back on. So those of us with low happiness set points will have to work harder to achieve and maintain happiness".
- Life Circumstances
According to Lyubomirsky, "only about 10 percent of the variance in our happiness levels is explained by differences in life circumstances or situations--that is, whether we are rich or poor, healthy or unhealthy, beautiful or plain, married or divorced, etc. One of the great ironies of our quest to become happier is that so many of us focus on changing the circumstances of our lives in the misguided hope that those changes will deliver happiness. Research shows that trying to be happy by changing our life situations ultimately will not work because of a very powerful force that psychologists call hedonic adaptation." I already have a post on the concept. Check it out if you haven't already read it.
- Intentional Activities
The remaining 40% is determined by our intentional activities. Focused effort in this space can increase your base level of happiness. Lyubomirsky says, "We can't alter our genetic set points, and changes in life circumstances don't have a lasting impact on our happiness, but we can increase and sustain our happiness through intentional activities.If we observe genuinely happy people, we shall find that they do not just sit around being contented. They make things happen. They pursue new understandings, seek new achievements, and control their thoughts and feelings.In sum, our intentional effort-ful activities have a powerful effect on how happy we are, over and above the effect of our set points and the circumstances in which we find ourselves. If an unhappy person wants to experience interest, enthusiasm, contentment, peace and joy, he or she can make it happen by learning the habits of a happy person."
Reflecting on this theory and my patterns, I have come to accept that the low, worrying, unhappy feeling is my 'home-state'. It is the programming in my genetic code! Hence, I keep finding ways to go back there. It's natural because everyone feels most secure and happy in their home.
But there is a part of me that wants to change that. It wants to adopt a new home-state. It's possible. All it needs is a daily concerted effort and commitment.
good one...but I really found this humorous -
ReplyDelete"She is an authority on happiness and has a 5-year $1million grant from the National Institute of Mental Health, USA to conduct research on the possibility of permanently increasing happiness".
A fascinating post indeed!
ReplyDeleteExcept everything that I built my hopes on - that changing my circumstances will launch my happiness levels to stratospheric levels - have been brutally, cruelly, wickedly crushed!
Alas I am but a hapless hamster,
cycling through the 'hedonic treadmill' on a wheel of self-defeat and sabotage,
the miracle of happiness is nought but a mirage!
hmmm...i get poetic,
when I am apoplectic.
I have a problem with the last paragraph.
The researcher's claim that we should observe happy hippies, so that we can mimic their actions into a world of lollipops and sweet dreams is a little disingenuous.
As someone, who has her fair share of research on the subject, I have also been told to surround myself with folks who have been tripping of some sort of happy kool aid of their own.
Case #1:
Step-brother: Supremly contented; funny and self effacing with a life-long to have a huge farm to populate with stray dogs, kittens and other wretched beings.
Action: Goes to work (in a bank),comes home and watches TV, hangs out with GF watching TV. Goes out with friends once a week, usually to their house to watch TV.
Experiment on self: FAIL!
Worked in a bank, came home to watch TV, would hang out with friends on weekends - however, self managed to spiral into suicidal tendencies about the ineptitude of oneself and couchpotatoeness!
Mother's friend, R: Happy and confident; likes to travel, usually in adventurous and not totally appetizing ways.
Action: Leaves job, drops daughter to school, hangs out with people who boast about money he doesn't have and make jibes at him for not having job.
Experiment on self: EPIC FAIL!
There are many more examples, which I won't go into for fear of this comment turning into a Dicken's novel (it's already the size of the 'Who stole my Cheese' book.)
See where I'm going with this? The author's conclusion, is a little smarmy to say the least. If anything, genetically pre-disposed, naturally happy hippies get away with doing absolutely nothing and still being happy! I would say genetics is at least 80% of happiness.
And even with people who pursue so called 'happy behaviour' - happiness itself usually breeds habits that makes you happy - people who are happy have high self esteem levels and are more likely to be fearless and confident which makes them try new things and explore new activities.
The author may as well say, if you're happy, you're more likely to be happy because you will do things that make you happy.
It's a catch-22 situation; if you're depressed; you don't have the confidence or motivation to start something new; and so you won't begin 'happy behaviour.'
How do you tell someone who doesn't want to get out of bed because the world is so overwhelming, 'Hey, how about we go sky diving today, open a school for the differently abled and hit the gym for a couple of hours?"
I suppose there is no sure-shot remedy to happiness - and we're being told that the usual trappings of personal contentment fed to us: money, being thin, great job; in the end will bring us back to sqaure one on our search.
Except of course,as far as material happiness goes, there's one exception that's been researched: Boob job!
Bravo!!!! This has to be the first post where the comment has out done the post itself. I am sure miss researcher is trying to bury her self somewhere haha..
ReplyDeleteI think the discussion is fabulous, but I for one can't figure out how to get of the YOYO of the happy - sad kind..
Any whooo..
@VeeVee: I see Sonja's research & data-points as directional ques for those who seem to want to be happy but somehow never get there.It helps them understand that the lower levels of happiness is not really their fault but a resultant of their genetic coding.That's how their chemical composition is and hence they will need to try harder than the rest.They shouldn't just focus on trying to change their life situations as they will adapt to the change soon and go back to their home state. They will need to find intentional activities/choices which could create a flow experience and elevated levels of happiness.The 50% could be 80% for someone or 30% for an other. I guess it varies from person to person so we shouldn't accept it as an absolute.
ReplyDeleteI see it as a means to understand/explain the as-is situation and how to go about the way forward. It gives hope to people who have just accepted their current situation as their destiny that change is possible.It just requires work and commitment.
Dr.Sonja has listed 12 such activities which they have tested and have shown positive results. They seem very generic to me. But she has a book called 'the how of happiness' which explains them in detail, supposedly.I've ordered it. Let me read it and then we can continue evaluating this further. The 12 intentional activities she mentions are:
1. Expressing Gratitude
2. Cultivating Optimism
3. Avoiding Overthinking and Social Comparison
4. Practicing Acts of Kindness
5. Nurturing Social Relationships
6. Developing Strategies for Coping
7. Learning to Forgive
8. Increasing Flow Experiences
9. Savoring Life's Joys
10. Committing to Your Goals
11. Practicing Religion and Spirituality
12. Taking Care of Your Body:
o Meditation
o Physical Activity
o Acting Like a Happy Person
@Gautam - Yes, we are breaking all records here. Join the fun.
ReplyDelete