It's constantly chattering away. The favorite tapes are - self doubt, fear of failure/rejection and constant worry! It's most active when I try to fall asleep at night and wake up in the morning. It also chatters away when I'm alone but usually gets drowned out with all the other distractions the world presents.
I've been trying to get rid of it. I've tried many things and here are some which are working for me:
- Morning Pages
I came across Morning Pages on Julia Cameroon's website - www.theartistsway.com. She designed it as part of a creative discovery & awakening course called the artist's way. Morning pages are 3 pages of conscious writing first thing in the morning. They can be about anything that comes to your mind and are for your eyes only. I complete 3 months of morning pages on the 14th.
When I wake up in the morning, my head is full of thoughts, fears, to-do lists etc. Sometimes it gets overwhelming. Now I reach for my diary every morning and scribble away. It makes me feel a lot lighter and stops the chattering - I have taken it out of my head and poured it into the diary.
- My best-friend: my breath
I was introduced to the concept by PG. It is about being aware of your breath. It's a great tool to come back to the present moment. After a few days of practice you will experience the chatter stops as soon as you start to become aware.
Your breath is your best friend and will stay with you till your last minute. Make a connection with it, become aware of it and find yourself always in the present moment. I highly recommend it. I try to practice it all the time - when I'm alone, while driving, on the metro, while trying to fall asleep.
- Cut it
As soon as I realise the negative thoughts creeping in, I tell myself aloud 'Cut it'. To amuse myself, I snap my fingers as if they were a pair of scissors. Then, I try to think about something I like - the beach at Phi phi, the trees at Lodhi garden or just AM's morning smile. This conscious thought replacement comes with a lot of awareness and practice. But nothing worth having comes easy in life.
I have my patterns. Every now and then I give into the chatter and don't 'Cut it'. But I forgive myself for it because it's not easy to 'fight your own mind with your own mind' (this phrase - courtesy PG). I allow myself to fail once in a while as long as I know I'm making progress.
That's my story. What does your tape recorder play? I would love to hear what you do to make it stop or play the good stuff. Do share it with me in the comments section.
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