Receiving!

I'm a terrible receiver. I'm very uncomfortable accepting a compliment. I don’t let other people pick up the restaurant tab, always insisting on paying my part. I feel very hesitant to ask for any help as I feel like I'm burdening the other person.

Most of us give easily, but often have resistance to receiving. It's not our fault, the focus has always been on giving. Since we were little children we have been trained to give to others, to think of others before ourselves and to refuse gifts or compliments. I remember being lectured in school on 'it is better to give than to get'.

However, constantly giving is not as selfless as we have been taught because if you give constantly and never allow yourself to receive, you cannot nurture yourself and replenish your ability to give. You tend to feel drained and taken for granted. But in reality it is you who is not allowing yourself to receive, always taking the provider position (it is your home state and hence familiar).

In order to be happy you need to have a balance between the 'give-take' in your life. You need to train yourself to be willing to receive without feeling the need to give back, knowing you are worthy and deserve to receive.

Next time, try to gracefully accept something someone has offered & feel special that you are worthy of someone's generosity.


P.S. The inspiration for this post is the following quote from Nelson Mandela's Inauguration speech 1994:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”